Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
