are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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