the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
