I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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