finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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