Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
