I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
