Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
