Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
porn star boner night. come get it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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