It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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