I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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