The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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