Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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