How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
