someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
