If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
