On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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