I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
