I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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