Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
