GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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