is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
