You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
