his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
