i think my mom watched the whole time
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
