and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
