Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
