It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i've created a new STD.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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