i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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