I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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