Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
