I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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