he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
