Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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