Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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