who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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