hotel room ftw
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
