Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
