I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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