Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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