The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
