All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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