I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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