Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
