Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize