My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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