to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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