This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
