I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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