non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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