After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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