and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
