After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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