mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
