Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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