And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
