Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
