How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
