how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
