I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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