And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
