One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
