He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
