Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
