i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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