And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
